4 years and 1 week

4 years and 1 week ago my precious baby girl was born! She didn't get her blog tribute last week though - a return from vacation and threatened pediculosis outbreak thwarted that plan = but that's a story for another day. Today it's about my girl!

We prayed for Keira for so long. After Kade there were losses, fertility, disappointments and then in October of 2001 we found out we were pregnant. I had a hard time getting excited. Didn't want to get my hopes up too high and have them dashed again. Christmas morning 2001 - it seemed we wouldn't be having the gift of this baby after all. I remember sitting in shower floor crying, asking God why I was going to have to lose another baby.....wasn't 2 enough? Why this one too? What was I doing that was so wrong? Didn't Kade deserve a sibling? I was mad and I was letting it out. Poor Greg....he'd been through this before....seen the following depression....watched me withdraw into myself....but this day was Christmas and he wasn't going to let Kade miss out....so off they went to a friends house.....and a few minutes later my dear friend showed up at my door. We sat on the couch together and cried. All she said was "I'm sorry" and that was enough.

But Keira was a fighter....even then at a mere 8 weeks in utero....the next morning Kade and I took off to the Dr.'s office first thing in the morning....I guess that was one of the good things about being a "high-risk" patient....I could go in whenever I needed to. None of the Drs. were there....just the Nurse Practitioner....she said she would try to pick up the heartbeat with the Doppler but not too panic if we didn't hear it because it was really too early to hear it anyway....but as soon as that instrument hit my tummy there she was...a loud, strong heartbeat. Again I cried....this time out of relief, thankfulness, disbelief.....8 weeks of bedrest followed.

All was looking up...it was March....I had an early August due date....and then on March 15th, a Friday morning, my Gram died.....one of the people that I was closest to in the world was gone.....I felt like falling apart but because of the little life inside of me I couldn't let that happen.....over the weekend we busied ourselves with arrangements, phone calls, sitting with my Poppa.....that Sunday night we went to church....then went to dinner with the same friends that were with us on Christmas....then at about 11pm that night I started bleeding again....no way....this could not happen now....there was no way another loss could be suffered......not now....

Greg took me to the ER....poor Kade was in his jammies sound asleep....I didn't want Greg calling anyone....this was something we were going to have to deal with on our own and we would tell everyone else after we had laid my Gram to rest the following Wednesday.....but of course that is not how my family operates and Greg has learned that very well.....I awoke the next morning to find my dad sitting at my bedside.....my mom, my uncle, my Poppa and about 10 other friends were all there within the half hour.....looking back I realize that taking care of me was actually a blessing for many of them.....made them feel useful in this time of grief we were all going through......

Once again Keira proved to be a fighter and all was well......the morning of my Gram's visitation I had an ultrasound appointment.....that was the day we found out Keira was going to be a girl....it was all as it should be.....the world lost an amazing woman but I knew in her place was coming another....life goes on.....

We got to the private family visitation and they all knew where we had been....they all knew we knew something....but none of them wanted to know what we knew.....they figured it would be another boy because it seems that is all my family is capable of producing! I was the first girl in 4 generations so hopes for a little girl were high but they also felt it was very unlikely.

Finally the morning of the funeral my cousin Kim couldn't stand it anymore....she pulled me into one of the rooms in the church and had me spill it....we both just cried. Then of course my mom needed to know....and my other Grandma......but that was it. A nice little secret we each held onto.

At the beginning of June my Dr. decided that we probably should schedule a c-section.....Kade has been 9 lbs. 8 oz. and 22 inches long and Keira was measuring bigger at every stage. He didn't think I would be able to deliver her naturally. So we scheduled to deliver her 3 weeks early on July 24.

That morning is still kind of a blur....I remember going in....kind of freaking out because we didn't have a name picked out yet....only the middle name - Riden - which was my Gram's middle name.....then the surgery.....hearing the Dr. say it's a girl but then not hearing her cry....seconds seemed like hours before I heard her.....once again God blessed us with a little girl who was a fighter.....the cord had been so tightly wrapped around her that if she had not been a c-section baby she would have died during child birth......she had to have some lung aspiration and some oxygen but our 7 lb. 14 oz., 21 inch long baby girl was here!

So Happy Birthday Baby Girl! Everytime I face a challenging day with you I need to remind myself how long and hard so many of us prayed for you. And thank God for the spunky personality He blessed you with!