Sunday, October 22, 2006

Nice Kids Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of the study is entitled Clarifying Vision.

What is the vision I have for my kids? Do my kids know anything about the vision I have for them? If they know, do they get it too? I don't know if I've really thought about a concrete vision I have for my kids. I have a general target or umbrella thought about what I would like for them but I have never really thought of targets along the way. Or as all of us school teachers keep hearing....the benchmarks.

The author came up with a target that he wanted for his children when they reached 18 - it included goals in the following areas; spiritual, social, physical, emotional, mental, character and life skills.

Being the visual person I am, I actually want to create a picture of a target....break it into annual chunks and sit down with each of the kids and come up with our 'targets' for the coming year. With the new year right around the corner I think it's the perfect time. The goals can be measureable and we can check ourselves as the year goes on. I want my kids to take ownership of the target vision too....which is why Greg and I are going to include them in the planning process. Greg and I will also be working on a long range goal to help direct our parenting.

Here are some of the quotes that I liked and some of the things that gave me pause from this chapter:

"Only 4 percent of the parents surveyed (this was from a Barna Group survey) thought it was important to help their kids develop moral values. More than twice as many parents were concerned with making their kids happy than with seeing their kids moral."

"If we seek to disciple our children, the goal isn't their happiness but helping them prepare for life and make wise choices. One of the crucial goals parents often forget is imparting a vision to their child - helping her discover her purpose and see herself as a significant member of a larger community, contributing to a greater cause."

"Many parents are climbing the ladder of success and dragging their kids behind them, only to discover the ladder is leaning on the the wrong building. The ladder is leaning against the fun house from a traveling carnival. Tomorrow the structure will be gone. Happiness for our children is too elusive a goal."

"I like to tell Christian parents, "Don't stress. Pray. The same Holy Spirit that is in them is in you. Pray that he'll do his work.""

"Before we can pass on vision to our children, we must have one for ourselves as parents."

"It's no good to have a home with curb appeal but a crumbling foundation."

"Your children are more likely to become persons of vision if they have grown up in a home that believes in and reinforces vision."

"Prayer helps us imagine our children's future with confidence because we know that they won't walk alone - God will be with them."

"It takes a lot more than good intentions to leave a legacy of love. The best intentions have a tough time competing with the relentless pressures of culture. We have to be focused and strategic. Good intentions that aren't followed by specific actions are just empty words."

"A child with vision doesn't get trapped in the mundane. There is something he is shooting for. He has ideals and goals that inspire him. With an internal sense of purpose and a clear vision of what he wants to become, he is motivated to pursue his aims."

***Then one of my favorites of all***

"We are created by intelligent design rather than by evolution through natural selection. We aren't mistakes; we are masterpieces. We are creations of worth." Can I get an Amen!?!

So, do you have a vision for yourself? For yourself as a parent? For your child? Children? Do they know what the vision is? Any thoughts?


Catherine said...

So the quote about happy vs. moral made me really sad.....

Simplyliz said...

please, can we refrain from using the word "benchmark" on a weekend? :)

I do like the idea of sharing the vision with the kids. Dare I say it is like posting the standard at the start of the lesson?

Anonymous said...

The scriptures say, "Man is that he might have joy." So it IS important that we teach our children how to gain joy. But then the scriptures say, "Wickedness never was happiness." So the real way to have happy kids is to teach them the commandments and how to live make their own choices to live them.

That's our vision for our daughter.

This reminded me of a conversation I was having in the playground with the other mums in my daughter's class last week, about the dance the following week. I said that when I was teaching full-time, it used to make me sad that kids as young as 5 and 6 were wearing stuff you'd expect to see on some 18 year old (sparkly halter neck tops and mini skirts)...and a immodest 18 year old at that.

And they looked at me like I was deranged.

So I said that I felt that if we didn't give kids standards on what they wore now, then when they have their independence to buy clothes, goodness only knows what they'll be wearing!

And they looked at me like I was deranged.


chanel said...

I am enjoying reading your blog and it has been making me think about things!!!! The book sounds great, I might have to get myself a copy.
I think life is busy, and it does take time to stop and think about things like "having a vision" etc .... but it is important and I agree with what has been written. I think as a family, you decide what is important and you stick to it ... try not to be influenced by what is happening in the world, or even what your friends think is ok ... make those choices for yourself and be proud of them. Today I will make some time to jot down some thoughts about my visions for our 3 girls .... I like your idea of planning together, so so so great! I might use that idea in our family too!