Friday, January 26, 2007

A Few More Minutes

A friend and I were talking last night about death....not in a morbid way....but how, sometimes, right before a person dies, a person who has been chronically ill, they seem to get really better. They seem to be healing, and then they die.

"Why does God let this happen?" she asked. "Why do we get hope that there are going to get better?"

So I shared my take on it with her. This has happened to me twice. When my grandfather had been sick with lung/heart disease, he was very sick. I was in college, came home to see him one weekend and he looked fantastic! I remember telling my mom, "This is great! Grandpa is his old self. He is getting better!" The next week he died, and I was devastated.

Then it was my Gram. She too had been very ill for a few years and was becoming more and more incoherent and had a lot of trouble expressing herself. I was at her house staying with her one afternoon and I was watching Jaws. She woke up from a nap and immediately began talking to me about the movie, when she first saw it, we had an amazing conversation. Again, I remember going to my mom and telling her, "Gram's taking a turn for the better!" The next week she died, and again I was devastated.

So why does this happen? I think it happens specifically for the hope. I was given one last amazing memory/time with each of my grandparents. A time to remember who they had been my whole life....something great to hold on to. And I am so grateful to have had that....and lucky too I'm sure because not everyone gets that.

So if you ever do get a few more minutes, enjoy them!


photolady said...

I completely agree that we need to enjoy our minutes together. We will NEVER know when God's bringing us home(luckily I think). I too believe in your situation he gave you those precious moments to remember them by, rather than just last sad moments of them ill. In my case with Stacy she was horribly sick until the very end, sure we had times we thought she was pulling through and things were getting better but that wasn't God's plan, he was just completing His work.
Which is why I go back to what you said last.....we need to treasure all the moments we have with each other, be it family or friends, since we don't know what tomorrow brings for any of us.
We need to never hope for complete healing and we need to always shout it from our mouths that we know HE is a healer and can do ALL things!
I don't believe God hurts us by letting people live a little longer, feel less pain for a while or smile a little bigger. I believe He is gracious and loves us sooo much that He lovingly gives us a little more time with those we love, it's up to us to take advantage of that time or miss out on something VERY SPECIAL! He doesn't tell us to have hope He said it's not enough to simply have hope or even pray, we are to have FAITH.
Faith changes things, prayer changes us.

Anita said...

I agree. We didn't get that with my grandfather. Although I had some rather profound conversations with him a few months before he died, there wasn't that last minute turn for the better. I've heard of it happening, though. I'm so glad you found the silver lining.