The Phrase of the Day

Play Ball!

Today was Opening Day for our Little League. I always love opening day....the boys (and the mommies) have the nervous jitters....the uniforms are sparkling clean.....there's just this great energy in the air.

Here's my little Diamondback. They had a great game today. His team looks sooo solid! Kade got to play short-stop and pitch, his 2 favorite things. He made some exciting defensive plays and he got the first hit of the season for his team. I know that sounds a little braggy about my boy.....but I am so darn proud of him. And he is on cloud 9!

Ralph is Gone

We can't find Ralph. We've been looking for him for 2 days. Apparently his singing scared some people at Starbucks and now he's not allowed to go in to get warm. Keira's worried about him. She thinks he's sick. Not sure how to explain this to her yet. Her heart is so compassionate and she just doesn't understand why everyone doesn't feel the same way about Ralph that she does.

The Word of the Day

The word of today is

insinuation - covert suggestion or covert allusion to something applying chiefly to a remark, comment, or question which conveys or seems to convey a hint or implication, often one that is discreditable to the person at whom it is aimed.

Pondering

So on the way home this morning, after dropping the kids off at school, I drove by an accident. And I had an unexpected response. I was immediately sick....like the kind of sick where you have to pull the car over to throw up.

I'm still pondering why that happened. We're coming up soon on the 2 year anniversary of Tim's death. I've driven by accidents since then. I know that you never really will get over or heal from sitting in the middle of a road holding your friend's hand while he dies, but do you continue to have these kind of physical reactions?

Could it have been that Miki and I had just been on the phone together? Or that I had seen her give Gavin a piggy back ride across the field at school this morning and for a brief minute could visualize Tim doing that with him?

This stuff's a downer, I know, but something I need to process nonetheless.

What's Up?

I've been blog neglectful again! But I'm busy!! Waa!! Yes that's a little whine. I really need to blog about my business!! So here's the most recent goings on in no particular order..........

Just One - the non-profit focusing on putting an end to human trafficking, poverty and orphans locally and globally. Big event coming up on March 25 in Costa Mesa - Freedom Day.... I really need to devote a whole post to that

EBB Creations - what a rockin' store this is going to be! It's a great brick and mortar scrapbooking store opening up in Simi Valley reallllll soon. I'm getting to help out a bit and get to be on the store DT, which is very cool and exciting. Their website is ebbcreations.com .....

Teaching - um yeah, my 3rd graders are keeping me on my toes!

Little League - the season is here. Practices have started, opening day is this weekend. Just found out that Kade is pitching in the opener. I get so nervous when I see my baby up on that mound!

The Community formerly known as the Bridge now known as SymbolPeople or SymbolLiving - yeah, can't even explain this one .... if you're in it you know ...when I get my head more wrapped around it I'll blog

And of course my most important duties Mommy and Wife!

So what are you doing??

Recent Layouts

Crazy Hair

This is one of my all time fave photos of Keira.

There she is....cute as a bug....but that hair....it's everywhere....unruly....unmanageable....in her eyes.

This is one of those pics that just really captures her.

I did this layout for the latest ScrapJacked challenge. It's not my usual style. That's what I'm loving about these challenges. It makes me stretch and pulls me out of my creative comfort zone.

Ralph

I need to talk today about Ralph. I started noticing Ralph at the beginning of January. He would be sitting alone at a table at Starbucks in Vons. From the looks of him, I thought he was probably homeless. And I saw him day after day.

So one very cold morning I bought him a cup of coffee and gave it to him on my way out with the passing words, "Hope this will warm you up." He smiled and thanked me.

The next day we were there again. This time I went over and asked him if he'd like a cup of coffee. "I can't actually drink coffee," he replied. "But I love hot chocolate." So from then on, hot chocolate it has been. As the weeks have gone on I have spent a more time at the table with Ralph. Not wanting to be intrusive, yet really wanting to know more about him. Today I found out that he lives behind Vons.

Keira is always with me when we go and has really taken a liking to Ralph. This morning she ran right over to him and gave him a huge hug. And I got some seriously dirty looks from the other patrons, like 'what do you think you're doing letting that little girl run over to that dirty, old homeless man who is invading our Starbucks??' I wanted to yell at all of them....."I know EXACTLY what I am doing? I am allowing my daughter to humanize a man who is marginalized by society! I am allowing my daughter to see past clothes and cleanliness...to look at a person as a PERSON! To love unconditionally as Jesus did! I know EXACTLY what I am doing! And you should be ashamed of yourselves for not doing the same."

But I didn't yell....I just looked at Keira and Ralph and smiled...and then looked at all of those around me and smiled.

Now I have also taught my children to be careful of strangers. And that some people who ask for money and stuff (which Ralph has never done) don't really need the stuff...they are just looking for cash to support a habit. Kade had a perfect opportunity to learn about this one day. We were going into a Circle K to get him a Gatorade before a baseball game. A guy approached us and asked for money. I told him no but that if he was thirsty or hungry I'd be glad to get him something to drink or eat. "Oh fine," he said. So we got him a bottle of water and some chips, gave it to him, and before we were even out of the parking lot he was trying to sell them to someone. It was a great lesson for Kade, this guy wasn't hungry, this guy was jonesing for something.

I'm not looking for any praise for being a friend to Ralph. I just need to talk about it. Get out some of my frustration at people who think they are so much better than him - when really, we are all just a few steps or circumstances away from where he is. Kathy called me on Thursday. I have been able to introduce her to Ralph. She said, "Pray for him today. People are just being nasty." Why do we have to be nasty!?!?

Keira wants to get Ralph some "fancy clothes" (her words) for his birthday. So I think we will go shopping and get him a backpack and some new things. And we will continue to be his friend, learning more about him without making him feel self-concious about his situation.

So what's the point today? I guess it's just be aware. Look around. Who can you be a friend to today?

An Almost Valentine's Day Valentine

This is G and I......11 years married and happier than ever! Oh yes, there have been lots of ups and lots of downs but that keeps it interesting and makes us appreciate each other even more.

I created this layout for a challenge on the ScrapJacked Website. This week the challenge was to lift an Elsie Flannagan layout. So this is my attempt.

Happy Valentine's Week!!

Happy Birthday Grandma!!

We celebrated my Grandma's 87 years last night! How cute is she blowing out the candles on her cake as Keira and Carly eagerly watch on. I hope my kids realize how utterly fortunate they are to have this woman as an active part of the their lives. I know I do!!

Love you Grandma!

Freedom Day is Coming!

Hey - save the last weekend in March to attend this event!! I will post more info about it as it becomes available.

ONE VOICE TO END SLAVERY PRESENTS: FREEDOM DAYSUNDAY, MARCH 25, 2007

• 3-8 PMVanguard University

• Costa Mesa, California

Many believe slavery ended in the 1800s, but the face of slavery has simply changed. There are an estimated 27 million slaves in our world today. They are enslaved in every nation of the world, including our own neighborhoods. The US State Department estimates that at least 17,500 people are trafficked against their will into the US every year. These numbers are intolerable. They are devastating to the individuals who are enslaved. What will you do about it?Shake off the slumber of apathy, see the injustice, rage against this evil and never give up hope. Raise your voice and join as we gather as one people with one voice to end slavery.

Join us on Sunday, March 25, 2007, from 3-8 PM as we gather as one people with one voice to champion once again for the end of modern-day slavery in all its forms.

We will gather at Vanguard University in Costa Mesa, California, to feature films, music, and workshops on what is being done to eradicate slavery and how you can participate.

Stay tuned here as we roll out the Freedom Day campaign as one voice to end slavery. We will soon have flyers and posters ready to be distributed among your family, friends, places of worship, campuses and social centres.

If you would like more immediate information, please email the following people:
Greg RussingerFreedom Day Coordinatorgreg@just4one.org
Ruthi Hoffman HanchettVolunteer Recruiter/Organizerruthi@just4one.org
Charles Lee Communicationscharles@just4one.org
Joel HickenbottomGraphic Designjoel@just4one.org

The website address is www.onevoicetoendslavery.com

A Few More Minutes

A friend and I were talking last night about death....not in a morbid way....but how, sometimes, right before a person dies, a person who has been chronically ill, they seem to get really better. They seem to be healing, and then they die.

"Why does God let this happen?" she asked. "Why do we get hope that there are going to get better?"

So I shared my take on it with her. This has happened to me twice. When my grandfather had been sick with lung/heart disease, he was very sick. I was in college, came home to see him one weekend and he looked fantastic! I remember telling my mom, "This is great! Grandpa is his old self. He is getting better!" The next week he died, and I was devastated.

Then it was my Gram. She too had been very ill for a few years and was becoming more and more incoherent and had a lot of trouble expressing herself. I was at her house staying with her one afternoon and I was watching Jaws. She woke up from a nap and immediately began talking to me about the movie, when she first saw it, we had an amazing conversation. Again, I remember going to my mom and telling her, "Gram's taking a turn for the better!" The next week she died, and again I was devastated.

So why does this happen? I think it happens specifically for the hope. I was given one last amazing memory/time with each of my grandparents. A time to remember who they had been my whole life....something great to hold on to. And I am so grateful to have had that....and lucky too I'm sure because not everyone gets that.

So if you ever do get a few more minutes, enjoy them!

The Danger of Raising Nice Kids - Ch. 5

More great stuff from Timothy Smith's book. This chapter is called Learning to Listen. Last year one of my New Year's resolutions was learning to be a better listener. At the time I made that resolution I was thinking more of listening to Greg and my friends. I hadn't really extended that to my kids.

This chapter made me realize that often I try to jump in and finishe their thoughts, offer advice or criticism when that's not really why they're talking to me. I need to let them finish, come to some conclusions on their own, offer advice when they are totally off base, direct their thoughts when necessary....but I really need to listen.

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the chapter:

Listening without interrupting allow our child to get themselves out of difficult situations and become the hero of their own story.

The context of this quote came from a time the author picked his teenaged daughter up after a party. He asked how it was and she began to tell him about all the alcohol that was there. The author resisted the temptation to immediately jump in and let her finish. She continued to tell him about the drugs that were at the party and the sex that was happening. He would have missed all that if he would have jumped in. Then she got to be the hero....she continued and told him that she and her friends left and went to In n Out for a shake.

Not every moment is a teachable moment. Let some go by. Your kids will give you plenty of opportunities to interrupt, scold and interrogate. Resist the temptation. It's a test! They are baiting you. They are checking to see if you really care enough to listen, just listen, without correcting, lecturing or getting the details.

This happened in our house not to long ago. Kade started sharing something that really shocked me. A few times he stopped and looked at me to see what I was going to do. I wanted so badly to jump in, but I just kept my mouth shut and he continued. I found out sooooo much more than I would have if I would have laid into him right away. Later that evening, after being able to really think about what he had said, I went back to him and asked a few questions and it opened up a very productive conversation.

Comments such as: Sit up straight, your posture is terrible; Chew with your mouth shut, what are you an animal?; You behave like monkeys, knock it off; You aren't working up to your potential; I don't like your attitude...Such comments erupting from our lips destroy communication with our kids. Constant criticism and correction destroy communication with our kids. I am not saying never to correct your child, just be strategic about it. Know when and where. Connect first, correct second.

The key is this section for me was the word erupt. I compare it to a volcano......destructive. I know that I have said some of these things, because when I was younger I heard them. It's like we're conditioned to them. I like the idea of strategic correction.


There's a lot more to this chapter, but I will stop here for today and do the rest tomorrow. Every time I go back and re-read this book, or the posts, the overall message is shockingly clear to me. Active parenting. We cannot be passive or selfish. The time God has given us with our children is short......we must enjoy it, value it and create as much good with it as we can while we have it.

The Danger of Raising Nice Kids - Ch. 4

So some people (well, just Liz :) ) have asked if I finished the Nice Kids book. I did in fact. So I will share some more with you.

Ch. 4 - Embracing Authenticity

I know I say I love each chapter....and I do! This one especially as it related to me being real to my kids. Am I who I say I am? So here are some of the quotes from the book that struck me the most.

1. Don't ruin your relationship with your child over an issue of discipline. You can influence your child if you have a relationship with her, but you can't if you are alienated from her. Don't sacrifice the relationship over one area of misbehavior. Kids will act up. They will make mistakes. They will disappoint us. They will act immature, impulsive and irrational. They'll act like children.

I grew up in a house of fairly heavy discipline....not that it was a bad thing....and I know we were fairly heavy handed with Kade's discipline early on. We accepting no misbehavior....really didn't allow much room for kid-ish mistakes. But I have realized that for Kade, that kind of discipline, doesn't work. He needs relationship through the discipline and that is how we get through to him.

2. The values you model in your daily dealings with your child will determine the result. Your authenticity will pass along your values to your child. Everything we do teaches our children something about life and becoming a mature individual.

I'm a yeller. When I get frustrated or upset, I yell. Yet I'm always telling the kids not to yell. Last night I yelled at Kade after he had yelled at me out of frustration. Then I realized, it's what I've modeled for him. So I apologized and we sat down and talked about how yelling won't help solve our problems and how we need to help hold each other to that. Our problem got solved quickly because I was honest and authentic with him (I think!)

3. We are held hostage by a cultural climate suggesting that moral training of our kids is inappropriate. Take a look around. Most kids don't have a clear, internalized sense of right and wrong. They don't respect rules. They don't respect authority. And they don't perceive the consequences of their unethical behavior. They may have refined their manipulative techniques and know how to put the right 'spin' on things, but their duplicity doesn't produce integrity.

Kids with integrity are becoming more and more rare. Parents need to realize that the little lie they tell about their child's age, to get the cheaper movie price, is speaking volumes to their integrity.

4. Looking good on the outside and not having it together on the inside leads to deception as the standard operating procedure in the home. It becomes an unspoken but practiced value. and then a little further on When you are authentic, you create an atmosphere of truth and grace. Within that environment your child will grow to become authentic as well.

I do not want my kids growing up under the burden of 'everything is fine.' Because sometimes it is not fine. It seems to me that we often say we are fine because we don't want anyone else to know we're undone, causing them discomfort in knowing how to deal with us. I have quit saying I am fine if I am not fine.

5. If we are going to teach our kids values, we need to give them some training wheels. We need to let them have a few crashes and a few bandaged knees. It is better for them to learn while they are under our protection and watchful eye than to have them learn in the big, bad world when they are on their own. The home is where they can learn without the full impact of negative consequences. They can learn between trial and error without being devastated. Try to affirm progress and don't expect perfection.

This last year Kade has had a lot of opportunties arise to learn about trial and error. I am pleased to say that there is some progress!!

6. Authenticity is grace and truth in relationship. It's the kind of truth seen when we are courageously honest with each other. No pretending. Nothing hidden. It's the kind of relationship that is grounded in grace. I define grace as love in relationship: not allowing anything to interfere with our relationship because I love you.

For our kids to have it, we need to have it.

Thoughts?

Resolutions 2007

okay so I've been thinking about this year's resolutions....i try to change things on a 'need to be changed' basis....but there are things i put off.....so some of these are the ones I didn't meet last year....some are revised from last year....and some are new.

1. Don't gain any weight - i think this could be easier than losing weight - and who knows - maybe I will lose some along the way

2. Get something published - whether it's a layout, letter to the editor, altered item.....it's just got to be something and it's got to be published :)

3. Create a family mission statement - what does our family stand for? this was something we read about in the Nice Kids book....if i know what my family's main goals are then my kids will too

4. Live my faith on a day to day, minute by minute, second by second basis - i want the way i live my life to speak louder than the words that i speak


So how about you? What's on your agenda this year?

Resolution Rewind

So I haven't made any resolutions this year....yet. But I thought I should look back and see how I did on the ones I made last year. Thank goodness for blog archives.....here was what I said last year.

1. Lose 8 pounds - harder than 5 but easier than 10 and doesn't everyone have some kind of weightloss goal?? Okay - so not all 8 are gone. We threw out all of our scales so I'm not sure how much is gone but I know that my pants aren't tight and I was able to buy a smaller size last month so I'm feeling pretty good about this one.

2. Be a better listener - really try to hear what other people are actually telling me - hmmm.....hard to say....but I definitely worked on this and I think I did better.....I guess only those that have talked to me could really answer this

3. Get a layout or project published....I guess this is my selfish goal....I think it would be very cool to see something I have created in print - well, this didn't happen. I started the year submitting things but nothing got picked up. It's kind of a process to get it all going and I really didn't devote very much time to it.....or......my stuff really isn't publishable....which I'm totally fine with....I like it :)

4. Trust and never doubt my faith - I can say that this one has been 100% accomplished this year. And I guess it's really the most important one

So now to contemplate this years..............................

A Mother's Nightmare

at least mine, would be having someone steal my child. I think the Amber alert has been a really positive step. Now they've taken it a step futher and you can sign up to receive text messages on your cell phone when an alert is issued. You get to choose the zip codes for the areas you are in so you will get alerted if anything happens in your area.

Sign up!


https://www.wirelessamberalerts.org/index.jsp

My Little Songwriter

We got out some of our Christmas decorations tonight. Keira was walking around with ornaments and other decor. Then she started singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas"......Kade soon joined in. It's so cool to hear my kids singing together!

But then Keira started adding her own lyrics and when I realized what she was saying I had to write it down.....quite amazing for a 4 year old....I'm not totally sure she realized the poignancy of what she was saying....but I did.....here's a portion...

"....you're finding your way - you're destined to explain - in your time of doing it - by Jesus side - we don't know what to do without Baby Jesus - is it my time - is it my time - and I don't know what to do without God....."

She has been asking me about death a lot lately....talking about our friend Tim who was killed....my dear Gram who she's named after.....my grandma that's still here with us.....and today she asked me when it was going to be her time to go to heaven. Mommys don't want to think about that question....but when Keira talks about death, she has no fear....only trust....and what do you say to that? I do not want to put fear in her.....I want her to continue in the freedom of not living in fear....so I told her the only thing I could.....only God knows when you are going to heaven.

Be Thankful

Oh there are so many things to be thankful for....the obvious....the not so obvious.....

Annette at SA issued the thankfulness blog challenge. And since I need to get blogging here goes....

1. God
2. Greg, Kade, Keira and my family
3. My friends that I consider a part of my family
4. The Bridge Community
5. People that stand up for injustice
6. The ability to physically feel joy and pain deep down inside
7. The smell on the streets after the first rain
8. Starbucks
9. The coccoon-like of my bed after a long day
10. The internet

Yes, some of these are deep...some shallow....but volumes could be written about each one. If you've read this - consider yourself tagged and get over to your blog and list!

I am Here!

Breathing, well, happy, content.....

Life has been happening at full speed...I think I am beginning to see some slowing....

More to come soon

Nice Kids Chapter 3

Chapter 3 of the study is entitled Clarifying Vision.

What is the vision I have for my kids? Do my kids know anything about the vision I have for them? If they know, do they get it too? I don't know if I've really thought about a concrete vision I have for my kids. I have a general target or umbrella thought about what I would like for them but I have never really thought of targets along the way. Or as all of us school teachers keep hearing....the benchmarks.

The author came up with a target that he wanted for his children when they reached 18 - it included goals in the following areas; spiritual, social, physical, emotional, mental, character and life skills.

Being the visual person I am, I actually want to create a picture of a target....break it into annual chunks and sit down with each of the kids and come up with our 'targets' for the coming year. With the new year right around the corner I think it's the perfect time. The goals can be measureable and we can check ourselves as the year goes on. I want my kids to take ownership of the target vision too....which is why Greg and I are going to include them in the planning process. Greg and I will also be working on a long range goal to help direct our parenting.

Here are some of the quotes that I liked and some of the things that gave me pause from this chapter:

"Only 4 percent of the parents surveyed (this was from a Barna Group survey) thought it was important to help their kids develop moral values. More than twice as many parents were concerned with making their kids happy than with seeing their kids moral."

"If we seek to disciple our children, the goal isn't their happiness but helping them prepare for life and make wise choices. One of the crucial goals parents often forget is imparting a vision to their child - helping her discover her purpose and see herself as a significant member of a larger community, contributing to a greater cause."

"Many parents are climbing the ladder of success and dragging their kids behind them, only to discover the ladder is leaning on the the wrong building. The ladder is leaning against the fun house from a traveling carnival. Tomorrow the structure will be gone. Happiness for our children is too elusive a goal."

"I like to tell Christian parents, "Don't stress. Pray. The same Holy Spirit that is in them is in you. Pray that he'll do his work.""

"Before we can pass on vision to our children, we must have one for ourselves as parents."

"It's no good to have a home with curb appeal but a crumbling foundation."

"Your children are more likely to become persons of vision if they have grown up in a home that believes in and reinforces vision."

"Prayer helps us imagine our children's future with confidence because we know that they won't walk alone - God will be with them."

"It takes a lot more than good intentions to leave a legacy of love. The best intentions have a tough time competing with the relentless pressures of culture. We have to be focused and strategic. Good intentions that aren't followed by specific actions are just empty words."

"A child with vision doesn't get trapped in the mundane. There is something he is shooting for. He has ideals and goals that inspire him. With an internal sense of purpose and a clear vision of what he wants to become, he is motivated to pursue his aims."

***Then one of my favorites of all***

"We are created by intelligent design rather than by evolution through natural selection. We aren't mistakes; we are masterpieces. We are creations of worth." Can I get an Amen!?!

So, do you have a vision for yourself? For yourself as a parent? For your child? Children? Do they know what the vision is? Any thoughts?

This Little Girl

was born strong....even in the womb she was strong. And strong is a great way to describe her....she has strong will....a strong love for animals....a strong reliance on Jesus....as she grows she will be a strong force to be reckoned with!

She is also very smart! It amazes me that she is already writing all her letters and numbers....spelling words
.....drawing pictures and then telling us a story about them....

What a blessing she is!

My Firstborn

He's my boy.....watching him grow is bringing tears to my eyes....tears of joy....but also of longing....for that little toddler in the cowboy hat. Tonight he reminded me that "he's halfway to being a guy"






How to describe him.....sensitive, empathetic, athletically gifted, artistic, loving, authentic, messy, distractable, creative, goofy......




I'm proud of the boy that he has become....he's overcome things....he still does not believe in himself as much as I do....but that will too come in time. He's my firstborn and will always be my baby!

Raising Nice Kids Part II

Thanks for all your insightful comments on the last post. I love being part of conversations (even if online) where everyone can share freely and respectfully.

I think the gist of what I'm feeling from this book is that our kids need to be equipped to be more than just 'nice'. 'Nice' is great but can be so ambiguous. What is their 'nice' based in?

The second chapter is titled "Parenting as Discipleship" and holds to the thought that parenting should be more than just modifying our children's behavior. It shouldn't be just raising them into compliant little people that are dressed and groomed well and show good manners in public. That's part of it, of course, but they need preparation.....preparation and conditioning to take on the challenges they will most certainly face in life.....getting them ready to do battle in the 'cosmic contest' that is going on around them.

So here are some of the main ideas of this chapter that I found most intriguing....

"We want to pass on lasting values to our kids. To do this we need a perspective that is transcultural and not simply a product of our culture. We need a long term perspective that is not obsessed with short term payoffs."

"We are on a mission from God. We have been called by Him to raise up the next generation of moral leaders. We need to move beyond punishment and discipline to discipleship."

"Discipline should be understood not as punishment but as teaching of self-discipline, an internalization of values through relationship."

"The primary goal of parenting isn't teaching, it's modeling"

"A focus on discipline generally creates compliant kids, but it rarely produces courageous ones. Now I am not advocating a permissive style of parenting; I am calling us to a more demanding style of parenting - one that requires us to change and grow and provide the example. Discipleship calls on us to set the pace, knowing that our children are most likely to absorb the values they see lived out in our lives. We can teach them skills, but we need to show, not tell, when it comes to what we say is important."

That last paragraph is the most telling for me in the chapter. This book is reminding me that to change my children, most of the time I need to change myself too. I need to be present and cognizant of my daily doings.

Is what I am saying/telling my children matching up with the way that I am living on a day to day basis? Am I around when those 'teachable moments' present themselves or am I too absorbed in myself? Am I trying to occupy them by buying them the lastest and greatest, signing them up for every imaginable activity or am I showing them that I intend to be intentional and deliberate in the time I share with them?

Sometimes these questions are hard to ask....but we have to be honest with ourselves....not delude ourselves to think we're already doing everything we can to raise them.....I know that when I ask myself some of those questions the answers that I give are not the ones that will be in the best interest of raising my kids. So I have to change....and be willing to change.

Thoughts?

The Danger of Nice Children

Greg and I are in a small group right now studying a book called The Danger of Raising Nice Kids. The first time I saw the title, I was baffled. What's wrong with nice kids? I think my kids are nice? I want them to be nice.

But as we're delving into this book I am finding reasons why I want my kids to be more than nice. Let me share a few things from the first chapter with you. As we dive deeper into the book and into conversation I'm sure there will be more.

What is nice? According to the author it's a pleasant, friendly, well-mannered, carefully groomed and most likely conservatively dressed person. But Webster's dictionary will tell you that at one time nice meant strange, lazy and foolish coming from the Latin root for 'ignorant.'

If you noticed all of the things the author mentions in his description of nice are outward or behavioral issues. Yes those things are important but what about the qualities of the heart like vision, authenticity, listening, empathy, compassion, discernment, boudaries, contentment and passionate love?

So for now, I will leave you with some of the quotes that struck me the post from the author. Feel free to comment. I'd love to be in conversations with you about this too.

1. A lot of what passes as advice to parents, including advice to Christian parents, will help us raise nice kids. Nice wimpy kids. Kids without backbone, passion or courage. In this era, kids like that will be destroyed.

2. We need to know how to go far beyond influencing our children's behavior to influencing their heart, mind and skills for life. We need to learn to parent with purpose, to grow integrity within ourselves and our children.

3. Our children need qualities that will help them become warriors, not wusses.

The author has a whole discussion on how we are creating an entire generation of children who do not know how to fail. We offer praise to our kids about everything and tell them they did good, even if the didn't. Do they realize we're just patronizing them sometimes? I have a feeling my kids do. So back to authors quotes.

4. False praise creates fragile people. We want people to feel good about themselves. As a result of this esteem obsession, we have a generation who thinks they are entitled to things without working for them.

5. We need to resist our culture and allow our children to grow up slowly.

6. Don't be afraid of your child. Don't be afraid to draw the line. Children need a moral center - an anchor that provides stability while they choose friends, discern the right decisions and perceive others with empathy.

7. We need to train them to take criticism without falling apart. We need to permit scenarios in which they fail but learn that failure is never final, unless you blame someone else. Some of lifes greatest lessons can be learned from our failures, if we are willing. We need to help our children develop an accurate view of themselves, with clear-cut analysis of their strengths and weaknesses, instead of a hyped-up self-esteem based on shallow slogans. We want them to feel good about themselves without thinking god of themselves.

Ok friends - that's it for today. I'll bring you thoughts on chapter 2 tomorrow.

The Music Tag

Liz tagged me....so did Bonni I think and maybe someone else too....so I guess I shall participate.

The Rules
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre, whether or not they have words, or even if they’re not any good, but they must be songs you’re really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your LiveJournal/blog along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to see what they’re listening to.

1. How To Save A Life by The Fray
2. 100 Years by Five for Fighting
3. Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol
4. World Spins Madly On by The Weepies
5. Somewhere Only We Know by Keane
6. Since You've Been Around by Rosie Thomas
7. Where Does The Time Go by The Innocence Mission

Now who can I tag that hasn't been tagged yet.......let's see:
1. Jodi
2. Amanda
3. Sara
4. Miki
5. Kathy
6. Sonda Rimes
7. The In Case You Didn't Know Blog

Sad

I'm behind on my blog - I know.....lots happening this past week, but more about that later. I need to share this. Kade did this the other night. It's a pic of Kita the first day Greg and I got her 11 years ago. She got liver cancer and we had to have her put down about 2 years ago. My kids are still mourning her.




Kade knows she's not coming back....but he made this anyway....and he left it sitting on my desk. Brought tears to me because she was such an amazing dog. And my boy still misses her so much.

A long 4 months

not as long for me as it was for some others that I love dearly....but long enough. Back in May I asked you to pray about/for people who are like family to me. They were facing a situation that would have put a son/brother/father on death row. On May 10th the a committee was supposed to return a decision on whether or not the death penalty would be an option for this young man. Well, May 10 turned into September 14 and the decision is, the death penalty is not an option in sentencing.

Now of course this young man will pay, and has been paying, for the crime he committed. He willingly left his voice out of the workings of the committee in order for God to work in the way He wanted to. Would I have been able to do that knowing that my voice might save my life? Am I willing to give up my 'perceived' control over my destiny? Questions to think about.

Anyway, this situation is not over and there will be more hurdles to overcome...but there is comfort in knowing he will not have to pay the price of his life.

.000 ERA baby!

Kade pitched his first ever game today! He's playing on a fall ball team with a bunch of really nice kids and parents....very cool experience so far. They had their first game this morning (and in the early morning rush I forgot the camera! waa!) The coach is letting all the kids get a chance at playing every position which is great. Kade got to pitch the 3rd inning. I think I held my breath the whole time. He walked the first batter. Then threw a strike to the 2nd batter...the first kid tried to steal 2nd and our catcher made an awesome throw (Kade even ducked out of the way for the throw - cute!) and they got him out. Then he struck out the next 2 batters. Needless to say he is on cloud 9 and I am finally breathing again!

Ponies Win!!

Well, the soccer gods were looking down on the Shooting Star Ponies on Saturday. Victory! 3 to 0....and there is actually proof that Keira participated in the game. That actually didn't happen until halftime when her daddy and brother showed up. For some reason their mere presence turned her into Little Miss Pele. That's her....little number 4 going after the ball....shocking!


Now of course she and her friend Oni did a lot of hugging on the field too. There's just a lot of love on the Shooting Star Ponies! And when you are only 4 you need to take time for your friends....even if it is in the middle of a soccer game!

Exploring with my boy

Blogger heard my desperate pleas and my picture uploaded!! What a Day!

So Ann(i)e's Challenge was to use 7 different pieces of patterned paper. This was good for me in so many ways! I have been hoarded this paper from ScrapAddict's Fashion Forward Kit. Why do I think paper is too beautiful to cut up? And these pictures of Kade and I have been sitting on my desk waiting for the perfect time to be used. I loved the layout Annie did so much that I lifted the way she laid out her patterned paper and mat paper.

There is not any journaling on this but I can vividly remember talking with Kade on the beach. We talked about all kinds of things....what he thought third grade would be like, what it would feel like to be bitten by a honu, things we love to eat....just little things...but things that remind me that my boy is growing up.

Of course there is also the embarrassing side to the pics....after Greg took these and Kade and I kept walking on down the beach, I slipped hard and cut up my knees and hands. Could it have been because I was wearing flip flops on moss covered rocks? Sure! But I didn't want to loose anytime changing my shoes when I could have been hanging out with my son. The cuts {and embarrassment} were worth it!

Stupid Blogger

Dumb blogger! Won't let me upload pics today or yesterday and I actually finally got a page done for Ann(i)e's Challenge! Felt so good to create but I guess I have to wait until lame-o blogger gets their picture act together. Okay so I've called blogger three bad things that I wouldn't let my kids call anyone....sorry blogger....thanks for being free. Okay, how's that.

So since I can't post a pic today I will post a HMMMM list from Jess....some of them will make you actually scratch your head and some will make you giggle! Enjoy......

Stupid Questions.. Think about it

How much deeper would the sea be if were wasnt any sponges?:
Why doesnt Tarzan have a beard?:
When dog food is new and improved tasting how do they know?:
If ignorance is bliss, why arent more people happy?:
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?:
Should a crematorium give discounts for burn victims?:
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?:
How do you draw a blank?:
If rabbits feet are so lucky, then what happened to the rabbit?:
If nothing sticks to Teflon, then how do they make Teflon stick to the pan?:
Why do they put expiration dates on sour cream containers?:
When you choke a smurf, what colour does he turn?:
Why do they sterilize the needle for a lethal injection?:
Why is a carrot more orange than an orange?:
What if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?:
Do hummingbirds hum because theyve forgotten the words?:
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?:
Whos cruel idea was it to have an S in the word lisp?:
If money is the root of all evil, why do churches want it so badly?:
If swimming is such good excercise why are whales so fat?:
How comes night falls but day breaks?:
What if the lid of a milk catron said open somewhere else?:
Why are they called apartments if they're all stuck together?:
If vampires cant see their own reflections, how is their hair so neat?:
Why do tugboats push?:
Can you be a closet claustrophobic:
If police arrest a mime, do they say he has the right to remain silent?:
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?:
Do people who are born again have two bellybuttons?:
If you try to fail, and succeed, what have you done?:
Are you getting sick of this quiz?:
Me too:
Final question: Five years from now, will they have a soviet reunion?:
Think about it..

It Won't Be Boring!

Well everyone in this house is back to school....including me! And I have to say I am very excited about my students this year! It is definitely going to be one of the more challenging groups of kids I have had but they all seem so kind so I know we are going to make all kinds of progress.

One of the things that most excites me about the challenges is the amount of learning I am going to have to do this year. I have never had a group of kids in so many "categories" before. I have a student with diabetes....a severely hearing imparied student so they are putting an amplification system in my room and I get to wear a microphone (like I wasn't already loud enough...heehee).....3 students with some type of speech delay/impediment.....one little guy whose whole family are involved with gangs.....another student with an undiagnosed circumstance, I'm thinking it may be Aspergers Syndrome, remember 'Rainman', well this child is like that, brilliant but uncapable of any kind of interpersonal contact.....anyway these kids are awesome!

So even the teacher is going back to school this year....and I'm totally thrilled!

Hotel Rwanda

I just finished watching Hotel Rwanda . It's taken me 2 days to watch. Last night I watched the first hour....then had to stop.....my mind was reeling and my heart was wrenched. There were many nightmares that followed during the long night.

This afternoon I feel sick....sick that something of this magnitude happened and I only knew bits and pieces of it. I don't care if the UN or foreign governments chose not to call it genocide....how they couldn't I have no idea. 800,000 men, women and children slaughtered with clubs and machetes over a 100 day period....that's 8,000 souls lost each day. And why? Because their identity card labeled them as Tutsi....one word....a word that meant indescriminate death.

If you're not familiar with the Rwandan Genocide here's a timeline of the inaction of the UN and every other country of the world. It's a total outrage.

Back on the Field!

Well both of my kiddos hit the soccer field this morning....and it was also my coaching debut! To sum up today in a word - chaos!

Kade's game got rescheduled for 12:45 and Keira was to play at 12:30.....but Keira's game is only supposed to last about 45 minutes so we figured she and I would make it for the last quarter or so of Kade's game.

Keira and I got to the field at noon and all of the other Shooting Star Ponies began to arrive. By 12:25 there was no other team there yet for us to play. So here's what I learned today....if the schedule says your game is at 12:30....that really means your game is at 1:00 or any time between 12:30 and 1:00....just whenever people show up. WHAT!!??!! The scheduled game time is not the scheduled game time apparently. I'll have to call about that this week. After our girls had already been there warming up for a half hour, they were pretty much done. Well, Keira was really done. Her terror-ific attitude really made it hard for me to coach the other 7 girls. We ended up losing, 3 to 1, but the parents didn't seem upset and I think most of the girls had a good time. My head was spinning though! I did get in trouble for going onto the field during the game....one of the little girls decided to sit in the middle of the field and suck her thumb....I was afraid she was going to get run over and she wouldn't get up so I went out to pick her up....got a visit from the Division Director telling me to stay off the field. Oh well!

As our game ended I jumped in the car and headed to another park for Kade's game...and I pulled up just as the ref blew the whistle signaling the end of the game! I hear that Kade had a great game....they won 5 to 1. I took him to get an ice cream, just the 2 of us, so he could tell me all about it.

Okay - only nine games to go!

Irony, Kharma, Turn-about....

whatever you call it....I have seen it in spades this week at work.

I've been debating since Friday whether or not to write about this. And now I have decided I need to...in order to get my thoughts on the situation clear because I know at work tomorrow there will be all kinds of drama and chaos surrounding this issue. Now, names will be changed to protect the innocent {even though I don't really think there are any innocent!}

During the last 4 years my job assignment has been complicated. Basically the position I had required twice the work as most others. This assignment was supposed to be rotated between a few of us teachers each year but for one reason or another it never happened and I was the fortunate one to carry it for the last 4 years. But not this year! Yeah!! It finally rotated to another teacher we will call Homer.

Now 2 years ago Homer was in a position to be able to help me out a bit....but he didn't want to help...instead he went to our principal, Mr. Smithers, and complained, moaned, groaned and said it was a violation of some Ed Code to help us....so Homer got what he wanted and we got no help. Not what I would have wished for from a colleague but it's what I got so I had to make the best of the situation. Not once did I consider not doing the extra work.....because the kids would be the ones to suffer and none of this was their responsibility. I was hired to do a job and I am not the kind of person who is going to do it half-ass. That's just not who I am.

So this year I have a new principal, Ms. Krebapple. Homer has told Ms. Krebapple in no uncertain terms he will not fulfill the duties assigned to him. Ms. Krebapple reminded him of the Ed Code that he had spouted 2 years ago and said he would have to do it alone. Well Homer came to my room, looking for support or validation of some sort I guess. I really had to fight back the urge to scream about my vindication, etc. Instead I told him that I would try to be as sympathetic as possible, which was not much since I knew the job could be done...and yes it will take more time and energy....I've done it for 4 years for crying out loud! I also told him that if he continued on the course of action he was pursuing, the kids were going to be the ones to suffer and that would not be fair.

So now it's time to prepare for tomorrow. I don't want to be in the middle of this but unfortunately I'm being pulled in for many different reasons. This is a really stinky way to start out the school year!

Knocking Out Another Challenge

With all the rushing to get ready for school to start I haven't got to scrap! So since Greg is playing poker at a friend's house tonight I thought I get another of Ann(i)e's Challenges done. This one was to use circles.

The layout is a bit sappy...pics of K sleeping at 3 and then awake a few hours later at 4. The gorgeous Rhonna papers are from the Simply Splendid kitt at ScrapAddict.

Lots to catch up on...but tonight what I need to catch up on most is sleep

Don't Mess With Me

So most of you that know me know that I do not love Chuck E. Cheese...too many germs....but because my children love it I relent. We joined some friends there this afternoon for what we hoped would be a fun time for the kids....but how quickly things can turn.

I glance up and there are 3 pre-teenish girls in the face of a sweet 9 year old boy. I call his name, the girls look at me and then walk away. I guess these girls had stuck their big ol hand in front of the camera when the boy's sister was taking a picture. He told them to stop so they follow him and proceed to intimidate him using these words, "You don't want to mess with us. We're bigger than you and we'll kill you."

Umhm....so the boy's mom and I went to find the girls...we do...start asking them what happened....they deny everything and I don't just mean deny, I mean disrespectfully deny ever even being by our table. Huh?? You looked right at me. But then their daddy shows up and decides getting in the face of a woman could be fun....he was very scary...I can definitely see where his daughters would have learned their intimidation skills.

The manager finally shows up....says he'll take care of it....pretty sure that these people were his family since he actually did nothing and they followed him around to the ice cream machine, getting tokens, etc. Before we left (which happened too early for my kids liking) I asked him if they were family, how did he take care of the situation, told him it looked funny that he now had these girls following him around the place, told him the girls continued to walk by our table giving us their go to hell looks....which by the way the girls told him that we were doing to them....yep...that's me....a 36 year old mom throwing down mad dogs to 12 year old girls!

So this whole situation opens up good conversation in the car on the way home. We talk about needing to be aware of our surroundings, that anyone can be a bully, when mommy says it's time to go there is a reason - not just spoiling your fun. Then it gets sticky. I tell them that when we pray together tonight we need to remember these girls and their dad....pray that something/someone will do something to touch their heart. "Why would I want to pray for them!?" is Kade's immediate response. "Well because that's what Jesus would do." What a lame answer! It's true, yes, but there's not a lot of meat there.

Then it gets me thinking about our discussions regarding hospitality during Soliton. One presenter said, "If someone asks if you're a Christian, tell them to ask your enemies." So today, these people were sort of my enemies...that's a bit strong of a word but you know what I mean. What did they think about me? How could I have extended hospitality? So I'm led to the writings of Luke:

Love for Enemies
27"But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even 'sinners' lend to 'sinners,' expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

So for the rest of the day I am thinking....how could I have blessed these people? Do I really love them? How will be pray for them? Is there anything that we did do today that would have shown them a glimpse of the One we strive to follow? These will be the topic of conversation around our dinner table tonight!

She's No Bunny

but the girl's got hops! Or is it she's looking for a way to stay entertained at her brother's baseball practice? I'd say it's a little bit of both!

I finally got Challenge #2 done for Ann(i)e's Blog Challenge. It was to use angled papers. So I found these silly pics of Keira and decided to go for it using the absolutely fabulous Geisha Girl kit from
ScrapAddict.

So not much else going on today....fairly lighthearted wouldn't you say? Guess you never know what you'll find on this journey with me....it's either heavy or light....maybe I'll try some in between sometime....heehee

Busy Day at Our House

Well, Keira started her first day of Pre-K today!! She loved her day. She already knew the teacher and has 2 of her little girlfriends in the class. Such fun! Of course the new school outfit had to have pink in it! I'm wishing I could find a pair of pants like hers in my size!

She came home with a painting and 2 drawings. And when Kade asked how the day was she gave a little hop and said "good" and then was on her way to something else!






There is a movie being filmed in town right now. My friend J'Daire let us know they were looking for extras around Kade's age so he decided he would like to go.He got to be a kid playing basketball and in another scene playing 4 Square. A few of his friends were there and they had a good time. Of course they didn't get the "hurry up and wait" thing that was going on....but sometimes I don't either!

Now of course Keira was with us but she was too small/young to be in the shots. But as soon as I turn my back on her she's off, and has one of the production assistants wrapped around her finger. She went up and told him "I'm too small to play basketball." So what do you think they did? Well create a part for her of course! Good grief!

She is now the "hopscotch girl" in one of the playground scenes. Then it was off to wardrobe (aka Mom's car) to change into another outfit for the lunch scene. The director of the movie came out and talked to her and then asked if we could have her back at 7:45 in the morning. There's a big chance that call will be cancelled, which would be great because I would like to sleep in, but they have her number so we'll see.

So now we're home, eating sloppy joes, recapping the day.....who knows what tomorrow will bring!

Soliton

Do you know what the word Soliton means? I didn't until May. The definition is quite mathematical and complex but one of the related articles is called Freak Waves. Now that I like. Basically think of dropping a pebble into calm water...ripples are created....if other pebbles are also dropped in the water their ripples will intersect and cross over one another. That's soliton. Basically it's a disturbance.

Enter the Soliton Sessions held this weekend here hosted by the Bridge. The conversations centered around hospitality and welcome and how we can be that in a world where so many choose isolationism.

I had the opportunity to listen to practioners from the UK, Northern Ireland, Philly, Texas, Minnesota....all over really. What's cool is these are now friends....our solitons intersecting across valleys, fields, oceans.....

The beauty of a gathering like this, to me, lies in the diversity of the people you come in contact with. And the way these people will love one another, taking the other in for who they are, who God created them to be. Letting go of things we can't control....in fact one of my favorite quotes came from a friend from Ireland in a prayer...."live in freedom in the place of no control".....the times that I have done this have been some of the most fulfilling times of my life. It's when I try to step in and become my own Master and Commander that I fall flat on my face in desperation.

I will share more experiences from this weekend later...right now there are kids to bathe and get tucked in....but I will leave you with just one for now....

One of those guiding the conversation this week is for peace (we all are really though aren't we?) and from what I gather an opponent of the war and the role the US is playing in the Middle East....there is another member of our community here who is in the Navy and will be deployed this week....here's the beautiful thing....the peace activist praying over the Navy man.....the paths they've chosen are different but those paths have intersected and the ripples of those 2 men will be felt by many. So my question is....why not just embrace the one with which you have differences....doesn't really matter the differences does it? I need to do it....I'm not good with certain people in my life....I feel the differences are too huge but they're really not are they. If I really look into the face of the other I should be seeing the face of Jesus in them. Am I looking hard enough? Are you?

9 Squares

So yesterday's blog entry was pretty deep....thanks to all of you who commented....I'm much better today....I think I was in pity party mode yesterday. So let's lighten things up a bit today shall we?



I was invited by Ann Hafermann http://www.ahafermann.typepad.com/ to take part in a scrapping challenge she is running based on Ali Edwards' book. The first challenge was to close your eyes and choose 6 scraps from your stash and then create. This is what I came up with.

The rings were what Greg and I did for our anniversary. We decided to both go and shop for new bands. We had a really good time and both ended up with the very first ones we had tried on....of course we tried on many others in between...but both came back to the firsts. First instinct....there's something to be said about that.

The Plans

I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you a future and a hope. Jeremiah 29:11


Today I am struggling...well more of a wrestling I guess....about the plans God has for me....my purpose....my call....I'm seeing a pattern....and I'm not totally comfortable with it....a pattern of me being somewhere that I wouldn't normally be....and then at that place something happens.....and it's clear to me that is why I am there....but it's not to share news of joy or glad tidings....it's to share pain, fear, anguish......I'm feeling like my call is being the Bearer of Bad News....

In the last year I can think of 4 instances that are huge....

First and foremost - Tim's accident. A few of you know that story.....God's hand in placing me there was and is evident....but it still....it still.....there aren't even words for what it is so I am not even going to try right now.

Second - the young man trying to commit suicide at Christmas time....I blogged about that

Third - the young girl in the International Market Place....blogged about that too

And now - being somewhere to do something celebratory with my husband....seeing an old friend doing something he should never be doing in the first place.....feeling the burden of knowing I have to share this news with my dear friend and then actually having to tell her. It totally sucks...knowing you have to tell a friend something that is going to hurt her....I hate it!

None of these things are happy....."um yes, your daughter has been assaulted at the market"...."someone is trying to jump off the freeway"......

So yesterday at church I was sharing some of this with another close friend who I trust implicitly and she is always straight up honest with me.....she said, "You know you're doing what you are supposed to do. You are feeling the prompting and acting on it." I know that....but I don't want to be "Oh look, hear comes Julie, wonder what crappy awful thing has happened now."

I was led to this verse this morning

I advise you to obey only the Holy Spirit's instructions. He will tell you where to go and what to do, and then you won't always be doing the wrong things your evil nature wants you to. For we naturally love to do evil things that are just the opposite from the things that the Holy Spirit tells us to do; and the good things we want to do when the Spirit has his way with us are just the opposite of our natural desires. These two forces within us are constantly fighting each other to win control over us, and our wishes are never free from their pressures. Galatians 5:16-17

So today the forces are fighting inside of me.....guess I'm feeling sorry for myself that I didn't inherit the gift of hospitality or even speaking in tongues!

So....the intense attitude Kade has for baseball has got the eye of a coach....we got a call....the gentleman who called us has coached many teams....in fact he is taking one to Cooperstown next week for a 10 day tournament....this is a group of boys he started coaching when they were right around Kade's age....he has had them together for the last 5 or so years with the goal of getting them to Cooperstown....and they are there!

Now he wants to start another team with his younger son who is Kade's age and called and invited Kade to be a part of the team!

Kade is excited to say the least...of course he is playing it down like it's not a big deal....maybe mommy and daddy are a little more excited.....and I am doggone proud of my boy! We'll be playing in Ocean View for awhile (not sure where that is but any place with Ocean in the title can't be bad!)

So there is a chance that his soccer season may be cut short or not even exist. We need to wait on specifics and see if he will be able to do both and if he wants to still play soccer. He's been a little stressed about soccer this year....has to move up to the under 10's and he just turned 8 so he'll be the youngest and littlest....but he's got a great coach so I am hoping that he'll be able to do both....but we'll let him decide.

Was I just saying not too long ago that I was glad baseball season was over for the time being? That didn't last very long! But that's okay - this is going to be a great adventure for Kade!!

Happy Anniversary

11 years and we are stronger than ever!

Rainy Days

So funny to wake up to rain in the summer....just a light shower but enough to make puddles in the backyard that the kids were quick to notice. Of course Keira felt right away she needed to put on a rain poncho....it's all about the accessories with her!

Yesterday I went and tried out for a new game show that NBC is producing. Happened kind of on a whim....they were looking for soccer moms....I got an email from AYSO....responded then never thought a thing about it.....but they called Wednesday night to see if I could come down to the studio. So we'll see if they call back or not. It was fun just being on the lot though.....it is the same lot they shot Gone With The Wind on and also where they filmed I Love Lucy. Sometimes when I am in an atmosphere like that I miss working in television....but then I just have to look at the pictures of my kids and I remember why I got out of the industry in the first place.....time....if I was still working in TV I would not have the time that I need to be a mom or a wife. But that is a part of my life I loved and sometimes I miss.

Well, I'm off to sit on the porch with my coffee and enjoy the summer rain!

The View

This is the view from our lanai in Turtle Bay....this was the sunset on our last night there....I can still smell the ocean breeze and hear the small waves breaking against the rocks.

4 years and 1 week

4 years and 1 week ago my precious baby girl was born! She didn't get her blog tribute last week though - a return from vacation and threatened pediculosis outbreak thwarted that plan = but that's a story for another day. Today it's about my girl!

We prayed for Keira for so long. After Kade there were losses, fertility, disappointments and then in October of 2001 we found out we were pregnant. I had a hard time getting excited. Didn't want to get my hopes up too high and have them dashed again. Christmas morning 2001 - it seemed we wouldn't be having the gift of this baby after all. I remember sitting in shower floor crying, asking God why I was going to have to lose another baby.....wasn't 2 enough? Why this one too? What was I doing that was so wrong? Didn't Kade deserve a sibling? I was mad and I was letting it out. Poor Greg....he'd been through this before....seen the following depression....watched me withdraw into myself....but this day was Christmas and he wasn't going to let Kade miss out....so off they went to a friends house.....and a few minutes later my dear friend showed up at my door. We sat on the couch together and cried. All she said was "I'm sorry" and that was enough.

But Keira was a fighter....even then at a mere 8 weeks in utero....the next morning Kade and I took off to the Dr.'s office first thing in the morning....I guess that was one of the good things about being a "high-risk" patient....I could go in whenever I needed to. None of the Drs. were there....just the Nurse Practitioner....she said she would try to pick up the heartbeat with the Doppler but not too panic if we didn't hear it because it was really too early to hear it anyway....but as soon as that instrument hit my tummy there she was...a loud, strong heartbeat. Again I cried....this time out of relief, thankfulness, disbelief.....8 weeks of bedrest followed.

All was looking up...it was March....I had an early August due date....and then on March 15th, a Friday morning, my Gram died.....one of the people that I was closest to in the world was gone.....I felt like falling apart but because of the little life inside of me I couldn't let that happen.....over the weekend we busied ourselves with arrangements, phone calls, sitting with my Poppa.....that Sunday night we went to church....then went to dinner with the same friends that were with us on Christmas....then at about 11pm that night I started bleeding again....no way....this could not happen now....there was no way another loss could be suffered......not now....

Greg took me to the ER....poor Kade was in his jammies sound asleep....I didn't want Greg calling anyone....this was something we were going to have to deal with on our own and we would tell everyone else after we had laid my Gram to rest the following Wednesday.....but of course that is not how my family operates and Greg has learned that very well.....I awoke the next morning to find my dad sitting at my bedside.....my mom, my uncle, my Poppa and about 10 other friends were all there within the half hour.....looking back I realize that taking care of me was actually a blessing for many of them.....made them feel useful in this time of grief we were all going through......

Once again Keira proved to be a fighter and all was well......the morning of my Gram's visitation I had an ultrasound appointment.....that was the day we found out Keira was going to be a girl....it was all as it should be.....the world lost an amazing woman but I knew in her place was coming another....life goes on.....

We got to the private family visitation and they all knew where we had been....they all knew we knew something....but none of them wanted to know what we knew.....they figured it would be another boy because it seems that is all my family is capable of producing! I was the first girl in 4 generations so hopes for a little girl were high but they also felt it was very unlikely.

Finally the morning of the funeral my cousin Kim couldn't stand it anymore....she pulled me into one of the rooms in the church and had me spill it....we both just cried. Then of course my mom needed to know....and my other Grandma......but that was it. A nice little secret we each held onto.

At the beginning of June my Dr. decided that we probably should schedule a c-section.....Kade has been 9 lbs. 8 oz. and 22 inches long and Keira was measuring bigger at every stage. He didn't think I would be able to deliver her naturally. So we scheduled to deliver her 3 weeks early on July 24.

That morning is still kind of a blur....I remember going in....kind of freaking out because we didn't have a name picked out yet....only the middle name - Riden - which was my Gram's middle name.....then the surgery.....hearing the Dr. say it's a girl but then not hearing her cry....seconds seemed like hours before I heard her.....once again God blessed us with a little girl who was a fighter.....the cord had been so tightly wrapped around her that if she had not been a c-section baby she would have died during child birth......she had to have some lung aspiration and some oxygen but our 7 lb. 14 oz., 21 inch long baby girl was here!

So Happy Birthday Baby Girl! Everytime I face a challenging day with you I need to remind myself how long and hard so many of us prayed for you. And thank God for the spunky personality He blessed you with!

I am a Soccer Coach!

Woohoo!! It's official....just held the first team meeting....I am Keira's U6 Girls Coach. I actually was very nervous going to this meeting. I know there were at least 2 other parents that had signed up that they wanted to coach.....don't know why I got picked instead of them.....so I guess I felt like they would be sizing me up...looking for flaws....wish I could get past that insecurity level. For crying out loud I am 36 years old! I should be secure by now!

Anyways....the girls are totally cute....deciding if we are going to be The Pretty Ponies or The Shooting Stars or The Blue Dolphins. Should be an interesting season!

All gave Some - This One Gave All

A soldier that I have never met.....yet my heart breaks at the news of his passing. He is the nephew of a friend, a son, a brother, a grandson, a friend.....serving his country....protecting those he has never met....craving peace.....peace that he now has but all of those who loved and cared for him will always seek.

Dennis was killed in action by enemy fire on July 24.....Keira's birthday....now every year when we celebrate her birth I will also offer up prayers for Dennis and his family.....celebration of life and death.....tied together always.

Regardless of how you feel about the war, you have to feel gratitude and compassion for these young men and women in the armed forces....and for their families. Maybe the reality of this war does not hit you every day....it didn't me.....until now.....we often would pray for those overseas.....but I had not experienced a personal loss in direct relation to what is happening in Iraq.....until now......and even though Dennis and I had never met....it feels personal.

So pray....pray for Dennis' family and the hell they are going through....pray for their healing....pray for peace.....pray for all the other heroes that are still on the front lines day in and day out.....just pray.

By the way - this layout was created by Laura as a tribute to Dennis and his brother Dana who is also serving.

Another Few Days in Paradise!

Another 2fer - very bad connection where we are now......so here's the re-cap

Thursday - woke up this morning......took the kids to breakfast....told G we needed to go to the International MarketPlace one last time. "Why?" he asked. "I don't know." "What are you looking for?" he asks. "I don't know."

But after being there for only about 10 minutes I knew exactly why. We came across a young girl, crying, being restrained by a shopkeeper. He had a very tight grasp on her arms and would not let go. He kept yelling at her "Why your friend not pay?!?" She kept saying "I don't know what you are talking about, please let me go." But he wouldn't. Greg went over and tried to get the guy to let go of her to no avail. Then another young girl came running up screaming "Let my friend go!" I got security and finally the guy let the girl go. I sat with them and Greg talked with the owner and the security. The owner thought the girl's friend stole something so he 'captured' her friend to try and get her to return. I got the girl's mom on the phone - they were there from Seattle for a soccer tournament - Greg filled out a report......I don't know whether or not the girl stole the $1.00 magnet or not....I hope not....she stared me right in the eyes and said she didn't. But the other girl...she was totally traumatized.....she said she thought the guy was going to take her somewhere and do something terrible to her.

So that's why we were there. The girl's mother was very thankful. I told her that I hoped if my daughter ever found herself in a situation like this that someone would help her....and I told the girl's that they needed to try and enjoy what was left of their trip....and also to be aware of how they can find opportunities to help someone in need.

After that we headed back to the hotel (no, I didn't buy anything at the marketplace) and packed up. Loaded into the car and headed off through the pineapple and sugar cane fields to the North Shore and Turtle Bay.

We got checked in and OMG!! We are staying in a beach front cottage....opens onto a lovely veranda. We have a hammock, some chaise lounges with fabulous cushions (that's where I am right now!), the pools have natural rock and waterfalls, there are tons of turtles swimming in the beach right off our veranda.....and we have our own concierge named Brian. He takes care of everything. Keeps the ice bucket full, brings fresh fruit to the kids every morning, makes all the necessary reservations, etc. He is a Hoo'ki'pa, which translates into butler - never had one of those before. Seriously I don't want to leave this place. I told Greg we need a few more days here so we shall see!

Last night we drove into Halei'wa and ate at Cholo's Mexican food! I needed me some salsa! Lovin' the fresh fish and fruit but I really needed something spicy! Then it was back to the cottage and more swimming for the kids.

Today - Greg and Jeff had a 6:45 tee time on the Arnold Palmer course. That's basically what brought us to Turtle Bay - thank goodness! The kids and I slept in and then Kade and I decided to walk over to the course and get some pics of Greg golfing. We walked, and walked, and walked, and got lost, and walked, and asked for directions, and walked.....for an hour and a half and we finally found them. They were at the 13th hole by then so we rode along on the cart....unless someone was coming and then we had to walk some more. We totaled up the mileage and it was 7 miles! Kade was such a trooper....never complaining....it was great to have that time with him just to talk....we were freakin' tired by the end though and starving since we hadn't had breakfast.

When we got back I took him to the cabana at the pool and we had cheeseburgers and then swam. That felt good! Then we headed off to the keiki bay so he could do some snorkeling....but he was more excited about skipping rocks!

Right now we are off to a luau at the Polynesian Cultural Center and then a show. Keira is looking forward to the hula dancers and Kade can't wait to see the fire dancers.

Until later - aloha!

2 Days for the Price of 1

So much going on yesterday! No chance to write so here's the recap

Monday - Got up and drove quite a ways to the island famous Liliha bakery.....their delicacy is the Cocoa Puff....kind of a reverse cream puff....breakfast was sugary sweet! Then everyone decided to hike Diamond Head Crater.....I knew Keira would not make it to the top of the volcano so she, my niece Brooke and I headed off on the Waikiki trolley to Hilo Hattie's, home of island wares....we spent a few hours and a nice chunk of change on fun island trinkets. Then back to the pool and swimming.

Greg, Jeff, Brooke, Greg's dad and I decided to swim wayyyyy out in the Pacific and found ourselves in the middle of huge sea turtles. What amazing creatures! They would just keep popping up all around us. It was incredible.

That night Jeff, Melanie, Greg and I hit the town without kids.....dinner at the Chart House, drinks at Da Big Kahuna, more drinks poolside at Duke's Ocean Club.....a great end to a busy day!

Today - got up wayyyyyy to early to try and get to Pearl Harbor. The kids needed to eat first so by the time we got to PH it was 7:45. The line was long....an hour and a half to get your ticket then another 2 and 1/2 hour wait to get on the boat. So instead of going out to the memorial we did the audio tour of the museum. There was a PH survivor there so Keira took her pic with him. That was cool. I think Greg and his brother will head back out there tomorrow morning to they can go out to the USS Arizona.

Then we headed out to Aloha Stadium to the swap meet. An interesting jaunt. And of course....back to the pool! This afternoon we headed out on a catamaran with some island natives....quite the trip....so relaxing...not for Greg though....sea sickness got the better of him at the beginning of the trip. Kade and Keira were both lulled to sleep - it was beautiful!

Off to eat some seafood!!

Humidity versus Hair

I had forgotten how my hair and humidity are not friends! There is the crazy frizz....and the fact that it takes twice as long to blow dry....and yes...I have fixed my hair twice since we've been here....for nights on the town!

Speaking of nights on the town....tonight we went to Planet Hollywood Waikiki....major yuck! My fil had a huge problem with their pink lemondade that was not pink....my mexican chicken had sweet bbq sauce on it.....my bil's sandwich came with 5 whole french fries on the side....Greg's lasagna looked like....well it was round and looked like it had been plucked off a rock from the sea....basically I was totally disappointed and felt bad because it was my idea to eat there!!

Other highlights of the day.....went to Blowhole (love that name) and searched some tide pools...found a teeny hermit crab....Keira was the only one that would touch it....the 4 older ones just looked on as she let it climb up her arm....Kade was a major snorkeler......Keira and I walked down the beach to the Royal Hawaiian and watched some hula.....

Back to the hair though, the good thing is I can also just embrace the frizz! The chances of running into someone I know are pretty slim....there are the pictures....but I am the gatekeeper of those.....so you may never know just how bad my hair looks!

Just Another Day in Paradise

Today - started by sitting out on the lanai watching an outrigger canoe race.......ended sitting out on the lanai gazing at the stars and eating hula pie.

There was great stuff in between though......a trip to the Waikiki Aquarium.....swimming....dinner at Cheeseburger in Paradise....and of course some shopping!!

Aloha!

If You Need Me

If you need to find me I'll be here..............................

It's time for some much needed rest, relaxation and rejuvenation.


See you all at the end of July!!

These Boys Rock!!

Check out this Little League All Star Team! They took third place in their tournament this weekend. Everyone of them played their hearts out.....Kade had a triple in the last game of the tourney to tie it up. We are so proud of all of them!!

My New Word of the Day

overwhelmedness - I'm going to stay it's a noun verb combo.....I know this his horrible coming from a teacher - making up my own words - but it's also creative expression, which a friend reminded me is a good thing.

So what's the definition - well, it's a suffocating state of being....a place where everything is out of control but you feel like if you could stand on your tip toes you could reach everything and grasp it and pull it back into control. But no matter how tall your high heels, no matter how big the chair you stand on everything remains just out of reach.

So I've disappeared......let everything spin......feel like I'm looking up at a whirlpool.....I'll swim out but I just need to sit back and watch for a little while.....be invisible.....embrace the uncertainty......

So here's some lyrics from DMC - formerly of Run DMC........ponder on these.....

"I have a lot of thoughts like who the hell am I, what is the truth and what is a lie.
But I think about my life and everything is okay,
I've got to pave a way brighter day....
Because it's really plain and simple when it came to me
There's a lot of people just like me."

So I know.... this is random....this is odd.....but today - this is me.

Five Things I Like About Me!

This month Annette from ScrapAddict is running a blog/layout challenge. The first task is to make a list of five things I like about myself.....

1. My faith - I really do truly believe that God has a bigger plan than anything I can imagine. I have lived through some really difficult, life-changing events....without my faith I see no way I would have made it through.

2. My creativity - I really like the fact that I can be creative. It's such a joy to sit down and make something from nothing.

3. My humor - I think I am funny. Greg thinks it's funny that I think I am funny. My sense of humor is not the same as many others....but I get a kick out of myself.

4. My top teeth - Years of braces did the trick!

5. My eyes - Not so much as how they look as what they see. I see beauty all around.....


Now - time to work on the layout!

Focus on Sibling Love not Rivalry

The last few days of this week were fairly brutal when it came to brother-sister relationships in this house. Kade and Keira were fighting about anything possible - who was taking up more space on the couch, who was going to shower first, who would be in front while we were bike riding. I'm sure most of it is normal stuff but I can't stand it! I want these 2 to grow up tight....knowing they can always count on one another. I start to fret....but then I find these pictures.....

Pictures of the 2 of them content in being a brother and a sister....pictures that remind me they really do love each other.....then a few things happen....

Kade gets stung by a bee at baseball practice and Keira is soooo worried about him....he leans down and assures her that he will be fine......Keira can't find the stuffed animal she wants to sleep with so Kade helps her search it out......

These are the moments that I need to remember and focus on more! The moments of Sibling Love.